I've had different views of Christmas in the past and I will have different perceptions of it in the future. I remember going to Togo for a month and coming home just as the advertising had started. All I saw was excess and waste and I hated it. Fresh in my memory were children sleeping on a pile of rags in a mud hut, important things - like medicine and food not getting to people who had serious need. I remembered all that and felt disdain for the people who were buying i-pods for stocking stuffers. That year I convinced my family to tone down the gift giving and enjoyed songs like
Do They Know it's Christmas? and
My December. Looking back I think I was actually depressed. The depression at Christmas trickled into the next year. And I think it was the year after that I met my Christmas loving husband.
I grudgingly started to open up and try to enjoy Christmas again for Mark's sake. I remember feeling frustrated with the presents and the advertising and the shopping and the list goes on.... . There were some parts that I enjoyed. I've always liked Christmas lights - I've often said that they have been the only thing about Christmas that I have consistently enjoyed (even as a little girl). I really enjoyed giving gifts and getting used to Mark's Christmas music (he likes the classics - the kind you get tired of, because they play them
everywhere ). When kids started becoming a part of our lives Christmas became more about them. I still felt stressed out in December and got frustrated with plans that changed. I remember getting upset and anxious while looking for gifts, really not enjoying the "hustle and bustle". I felt a lot of pressure to get the "perfect gift" for everyone. Our family drew names but with our growing family we still had a lot of shopping to do.
Mark helped me combat this by starting our own traditions as a family. We hunt down a real tree in the first week of December , cut it down and dress it up (while playing Christmas music and drinking egg nog- Sarah calls it "egg knock") . We have family over for dinners and this year I got the girls outside to watch the Santa Claus parade just outside our house. Gradually I learned to focus more on making memories and having fun with family then trying to find the perfect gift or stressing over who we can afford to buy for. I'm looking forward to watching the Rankin and Bass videos with the kids and seeing them experience the craziness that our church manages to pull off every year (some sort of Christmas play ...you walk in the doors and they are handing out costumes with a paper with lines on it :) ). I'm looking forward to seeing them (hearing rather- I'll likely still be in bed) experience the sight of presents under the tree - knowing that we stayed in budget this year. Mark and I did most of our shopping in November (a lot of it online) and we tried to tone down the gift giving with extended family even more. Next year we would like to do some charity instead of presents with extended family. I'm looking forward to teaching my kids about giving back and ideas of how Jesus wants us to celebrate His birthday. This year I've finally been able to sweep aside all the clutter/anxiety/stress/depression that surrounds Christmas and have been able to enjoy (really enjoy - not just take pictures or videos) events with my husband and kids :) . Thank you Jesus , for your freedom - and for teaching me to take advantage of it :)
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| Sarah and Abby enjoying the "light parade" (Santa Clause Parade) as they called it. Sarah appears to enjoy Christmas lights as much as I do |
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| Hop on Pop |
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| Our Christmas tree - most of the ornament are half way up the tree now- the kids have been stealing them and throwing them around the living room. |
