Sunshine and Clouds

"What am I going to do with you two girls?" is the question I often hear myself saying.  It seems like when they get close to each other kicking, slapping, pinching, biting and lots of screaming happen.  Abby has bit Sarah twice in the arm leaving red marks.  I'm hoping that Abby biting is the result of teething , but I'm not sure - she was pretty angry when she bit :( .  I don't even know how to discourage the behavior if that is what it is - Abby is only one and forgets what she did shortly after doing it.  She does not understand why she should not bite. I guess like any siblings of the same sex it is sunshine and clouds off and on during the day :)  It seems like Nathan gets along well with both girls.

Often when I'm getting ready in the morning I have both girls standing on "the yellow chairs of doom" (nicknamed so because the kids can carry them easily and use them to get at things we attempt to put out of their reach- they are in the bathroom because they cause the least amount of trouble there ....so far).  I take longer to get ready due to also getting the girls ready with me :)  We brush our teeth together , our hair , often put on perfume and make-up (mostly lip balm- which Sarah calls "bwip-stick" and body spray).  Once I remember putting on some socks I rarely wear , Sarah noticed them instantly and complemented them calling them "pretty!". Since then I have worn them more frequently (mainly because she likes them).  Its hard to explain without sounding selfish - but I find it pleasing to be able to relate to my daughters that way.  Its nice - almost exciting to see them enjoy the same things as I do.  All three of us end up feeling "special" taking delight in every day things - like a pink top , getting ready in the bathroom, or seeing a picture of a princess or fairy.

I have been taking the kids to the library on Tuesday mornings recently.  Sarah and Abby find it rough as they quickly become hungry and tired ( I in turn find it rough moving my 7 month big baby bump around after them), but Nathan thrives on the interaction with the other kids and the leader.  He is so excited to see the other kids and is very enthusiastic when doing the hand signs along with the songs.  I know he will be ready to leave the nursery this coming fall and I know he would love kindergarten next year.  A small part of me feels the sting of "the letting go part of parenting"  , knowing that he will be in the care of someone else when he does go to school.  But most of me is proud of him ... simply for growing up and being himself.  He has become very independent lately.  If he has a problem he will often attempt to fix it himself before asking for help.  This results in messes and frustration on his and our part.  Just this afternoon he was watching TV and noticed that the signal had gone.  He calmly walked up to the TV opened the door to the console (which they are not allowed to do) and adjusted the antenna so his program would come back on.  I had to stop him of course as he is not allowed to be in that area - but part of me was smiling and shaking my head - I had no idea he was even aware of how to work the antenna.  He is also getting very good at dismantling things and tries to put them back together.  He often will say things that we didn't think he heard or understood.   A highlight of my day is seeing him smiling at me with his bright and eager eyes.

Last night I had a massage and did not come home until after the kids were in bed.  I heard them bumping around upstairs and went up to deliver some stuffed toys that my poor exhausted husband was unable to find (he was not feeling well yesterday).  As soon as I got upstairs their faces lite up and Sarah said "Mommy! you came back!"  Its good to feel loved.  Sometimes when thinking of Jesus' return I feel as though I don't want Him to come back yet , I want to enjoy our kids He has given us and to grow old with my husband.  I hope that I will be able to greet Him in the same way Sarah greeted me when I came back :)

Here is Nathan in the cupboard BEHIND the lazy susan.  The lazy susan on the other side of the kitchen was removed  because Nathan broke it by sitting on it , also he was throwing baking items behind it (making them nearly impossible for  us to easily get)

 enjoying a walk on the green way 

Two girls that can't sit near each other - someday I will get a good picture of  them side-by-side

Surviving May

This month is 1/2 over and it seems to be going fast and slow at the same time.  My energy levels have dropped and its harder to move around. I keep thinking "one more month..." because I'm so focused on getting May out of the way I forget that I still have June to be pregnant.

As I look over at the couch right now I see that Nathan has figured out that his pants are the zip off type and he has zipped off one leg.  He has taken off his pants completely and attacked his sister (lots of screaming happening) .  Abby was by my knee trying to bite it ... she seems tired today.  That was only  a snap shot of what happens here on  a day to day basis. I already don't remember most of what they did last week :(  I know they were cute , they got in trouble , they fought , they made messes and mostly slept at night.

Mothers day weekend was very draining - it seems like when your lively hood is going to be celebrated you are reminded again of how hard it is sometimes.  I think I remember being tired and worn out last Mothers day as well.  Of course it didn't help that I am 7 months pregnant.  I remember looking forward to a date night Mark and I had planned all week.  He has been so busy during the day and at night with work (this semester is difficult for him) I was looking forward to some time with him while not feeling like I was taking him from his work that he needed to get done.  The date didn't happen and I was disappointed- which was hard to deal with.  Hopefully we can get out soon.  I mentioned to Mark that the next person that tells me that I need to "get out" more ..or just "go on a date" is going to get punched in the face - he said he would pay to see that - lol - I don't think I could even if I really wanted to. Its hard to "get out" when you have young kids.  Babysitters can be expensive and are not always available.  Its like handing off your responsibilities of your full time job to someone who may or may not know what is going on- only more important because the responsibilities have names and are your children :)

My sister and her husband came for a visit with their brand new baby.  It felt good to hold a newborn in my arms again.  I still feel a pang of regret that Hannah will be the last one of mine that I will hold, but I think every mother feels that way (that is why grandma's enjoy their grandchildren so much).  Watching my sister love her baby and struggle through the first time mom challenges reminded me of how precious and sacrificial parental love is.  I've always been told that God loves us the same way , but I've always found it hard to wrap my mind around.  Watching my kids and knowing how I feel about them puts God's love in a new perspective and at times almost easy to understand.

On Mothers Day we stayed home from church and relaxed for the day.  It was sooo nice to stay home that day.  Sundays are normally stressful (chasing around hungry tired kids) and it felt good not to feel guilty for staying home for once.   Mark got me a video camera - which was awesome.  I can take better videos of the kids now and remember them better :) .  There are so many times during the day when I look at my kids and think  - 'wow, I have a great family.  I am blessed to be a mother ' and there are other times when I think 'what were we thinking? 4 under 4???' .

Look before you sit

We are finally feeling better -well most of us.  I seem to take the longest to get better on account of lack of sleep and being worn out caring for the other sick ones :( .  I'm just glad I got the cold part of the illness only, and that Mark didn't get it at all :).  The other three took turns throwing up for about 12 hours each (not constantly).  I don't think I remember doing that much laundry in three days.  I had those machines going constantly  - thank God for washing and drying machines!  I can't even imagine how crappy that would have been to deal with washing everything by hand like people used to (still do in some countries).  Although all three of the kids were sick, there always seemed to be one that perked up when another one started feeling sick - so I had a sick kid, a semi-sick kid and a bouncy " get in trouble kid" every day for about three days.

Yesterday was a "making messes" day.  It seemed like I would clean up one only to turn around in time to see them make another giant mess.  By the end of the day I gave up.  I made sure that the floors were mostly clear (or they trip and fall) and it was not too annoying stepping on crumbled food....  if that is possible. While I was putting Abby and Sarah to bed Nathan decided to change his own diaper.  He had pooped in it and decided that the couch was a good place to take it off.  He then went to the change table and attempted to clean himself up and then proceeded to the kitchen with a chair and helped himself to a soother (I keep them in a cupboard until bedtime).  I know all this because he left a trail of poop smudges everywhere he went.  What could have been a 2-3 wipe poop turned into a 50 wipe poop as I searched the house to see where he had been.  It was my chair this time :(.  When I told Mark about the episode he replied "well, I guess the motto for today is 'look before you sit!'".  I love my husband :).  Nathan has developed a fascination for pump bottles filled with shampoo or conditioner in the bathroom - often when I find him in there there is a stream of shampoo or conditioner flowing down the bottle and making a puddle on the floor.  He looks so intently at it while it is dripping - I can't be angry.  I'm at a loss of where to put those darned bottles.  They come from Costco so they are huge - I am glad of that because the floor gets a lot of treatment but they are so big they don't fit anywhere :(.  

Recently I noticed that my supply of plastic containers was growing non-existent.  I also noticed Abby walking around with them , attempting to put lids on or take them off but never putting them in the same place or back where they came from.  Abby also , now that she is always walking, walks around with her food.  She used to make a mess around her high chair or by the coffee table where she was standing - now she scatters her mess all over the house!   She often will follow me around the house with a book clutched in both hands , wanting me to read it to her and getting very loud and angry when I don't immediately comply.  Abby is lucky she is so cute and we still love her no matter how crazy she gets...  I could say that for all three of them.  Sometimes I walk in on them doing something crazy and often the result is a lot of clean up for me...I stand there for a moment not knowing if I should laugh, cry or be angry.   I take a picture and puzzle about it - then clean up the mess usually ending up laughing.

Since the weather has been so nice I have been taking the kids out in the back yard more often.  Sarah has decided that she does not like bugs.  At first she seemed afraid of them and wanting me to flip them off the slide before she went down and freaking out if they happened to land on her clothing or skin.  I explained to her that the bugs live outside and that they were not going to hurt her.  She seems less afraid now.  Now, she smashes them in-between  her fingers and then hands them to me (or tries to) saying "Here mom!"  and I have to brush the remnants of the bug off her fingers.  Nathan seems to be much like his dad in that he  needs something to do outside.  He needs to blow bubbles or ....something .... I haven't figured out how to keep him busy yet.  Usually he is waiting by the door for us to go back in while Sarah and Abby are happily playing.  

I have concluded that we just need to survive May.  June will go quickly , then I will have a baby and everything will settle down after that ..... hopefully.  Ha ha -I think rather we will be adjusting to a new kind of crazy, but at least it will be summer and Mark will be home.  Just focus on surviving May Leanne.....

Nathan watching his favourite meal bake *fish* 

playing outside -watch out for bugs!

These girls don't need lessons on how to make a mess