Use your fork man!

OK - so I have not written for a long time.  Things seem to escalate during the day and all I want to do in the evening is sit and watch TV or crochet (I picked up crochet to feed the starving creative part of me :)).  So many things have happened recently that I just want to snap shot the last few days (mostly because I can't remember every thing else).

Yesterday we put our house up for sale.  We don't know if it will sell this summer , but we thought it would be worth a try.  We want a house with more space ( livable basement, 2 bathrooms, garage ...) and are looking in the Kingsville area.  That square sign in our front yard is the cause of lots of muscle pain :( .  Mark and I have been cleaning /yard work.  Cleaning a house to sell is crazy hard with 4 little mess makers running around needing things almost constantly.  It still amazes me how fast those kids can make a mess and get into trouble.

When I thought of the word "trouble"  Hannah came to mind.  She is "bumming" around (doing little hops on her bum to get around) and getting into lots of trouble.  Originally I thought  "How much trouble could she get into?  The others get into stuff all the time - I'll just herd her away with them" . I forgot that she is at floor level :(  Hannah emptys the garbage can and eats the garbage , she finds every scrap of paper on the floor and eats it, she eats more dog food then the dog and spills his water (somehow getting wet from head to toe), she likes chalk, dog bones and pretty much anything else I don't want her to eat. She is starting to figure out how to open drawers and cupboards-yikes! What am I going to do with her when she does walk? On second thought I will like it when she walks because then she will slim down a bit- she is in size 6 diapers and they are getting a little tight (I don't think they make them any bigger then that)  She has 6 teeth now and will use all of them on anything she grabs to put in her mouth (including your fingers).  

Right now Abby is screaming like a banshee- she had a long nap this afternoon, I guess that entitles one to stay up all night.  Her angry gibberish is starting to make sense , which is the cause of more scraps between her siblings.   She is starting to play with and mimic Sarah.  Its so cute watching them playing with the "daddy" and "baby" bear in the tub.  I sometimes feel like I get the short end of the stick as the mother representative in their animals.  The daddy bear is a good quality German made model, the mommy bear is a goofy looking yogi bear from Mc Donald's.  The daddy giraffe is the good quality German model but the mommy giraffe came from China and looks like she is lame :( .  Maybe I will have to get them more animals, but then again maybe not ... the dog eats them.

Nathan is almost toilet trained - he wears underwear all day and night and rarely needs to change them.  He still needs constant reminders to go to the bathroom (approx. every 45 minutes) and will still throw a temper tantrum every once in  a while as I haul him (literately , on my hip) to the bathroom.  This morning Sarah noted Nathan eating his pancakes with his fingers and said "Use your fork man!" .  Which made me think of another time when Nathan caught Sarah (or Abby?) eating with their fingers and freaked out yelling at them to "USE THE FORK!" as he used his fingers to eat (like he always does).  They both are picking up expressions said by us or from the TV/computer.  The other day I put up a sticker chart for Nathan that featured numbers counting by threes and got a laugh when his response was "Count by threes? Are you kidding me? That's COOL!"

As I think about all the things I experience during a day or week or month with my family I remember how much I love them.  I still would not have it any other way.  I pity the women who somehow don't feel fulfilled staying at home raising kids , believing the well told lie that women need a job and career to be worth something.  I can't say I'm entirely free from those lies myself .  Everyday I feel God snipping away at them freeing me up to be myself :)

Nathan took this picture 

And he took several like this as well :)

I can just picture her flapping her arms and squealing in this picture 

Abby is "reorganizing" the bandaids , testing some of them. Apparently Sarah helped. 

Can you listen to my heart?  ...For some reason I hear that question often when I'm trying to eat a meal

Christmas is coming ...

It has been awhile since I could find the time to write another post.  I'm sitting on my chair by my computer and am trying to type while Sarah is sitting on my "wap" and Nathan is squished in on the other side.  The younger two are sleeping (or I couldn't be on here writing now :)).  I am never without someone sitting on me every time I sit down.  Lately it seemed like I was getting a bigger butt as Hannah was becoming a tighter and tighter fit between me and the chair- but my clothes still fit and hers don't ;)

I'm noticing we get to have more conversations with our kids.  Hannah still smiles (two dimples) her hamster smile  (one tooth in on the bottom) and giggles. Abby knows quite a few new words and can speak in sentences. I think of Abby as "defiant until the end" or "the revolutionary". She like everything else has attacked her two year old perceived independence with a passion.  I actually have arguments with her sometimes.  I will ask her to do something simple ( probably something she already wanted to do) and she will respond with a stormy face "NO!... I DON'T DO THAT" and then proceed to lecture me in a stream of angry babble with a recognizable word here and there.  Sometimes I find this frustrating , but most of the time it is amusing.  She has been in the habit of not wanting to nap recently, which of course makes her unbearable at times.  Once I tossed her on the couch and told her "Not another peep from you!" As I was walking away I heard her growl at me with her thumb in her mouth.

 Nathan will repeat himself persistently until we feel as though we will go crazy.  He repeats phrases he hears on commercials or TV programs or if he wants something he will repeat it over and over and over and over.... not listening to us try to explain why he can't have what he wants in that exact second.  Sometimes he will spout random facts like "A is a vowel!", or "A silent "E" makes the first vowel say its name!" like he was the one that discovered phonics :).   Today he has been saying "Christmas is coming!" over and over again.  Sarah has advanced in speech more then any of them.  I never know what she will say next.  Mark and I can have actual conversations with her and she understands us :)  The others can understand us as well but the interest and level of understanding varies. Sarah likes to hear me tell her stories of king Daddy, queen Mommy , prince Nathan, princess Sarah, princess Abby and baby princess Hannah. The royal family often gets out of trouble with the help of princess Sarah's magical animals.

Eating peanut butter for supper (it was a bad day...)

Happy second birthday Abby! she is pretty happy to see all those chips

Nathan taking apart my watch

"There is no good time for this "

I was not looking forward to this winter.  It was difficult enough to get out with three small kids - now I have four and its next to impossible.  The cold weather and snow have also been deterrents.  Kids (small ones) don't see the need for mittens/hats/scarfs until they are outside and feel the cold - until then they are happily or not so happily pulling them off as I put them on someone else.  Baby Hannah , as she is called by her siblings, is too small to be outside for very long. Also, it takes a lot longer to get anywhere and it has come to a point to where it seems like anything extra is a tiring thought.  I've found myself thinking "There is no good time for this..." frequently (even thinking this as I write) and other things that need to get done are left alone as I squeeze in that one inconvenient thing.  But doing the bare essentials only all day every day would soon swing me into depression ....its a loosing battle sometimes. So, that means I don't really get out at all, unless I'm walking the dog.  Yes, we have a dog!  I was so excited even though I knew it would add to craziness.  I think walking the dog this winter is helping me stay  sane in a way.  I forget how nice it is to be outside , even if it is freezing cold :).

Highlights from this month include; watching Abby be her crazy self and singing.  I love her singing.  Better her singing then her screeching- she has been doing a lot of that lately.  Abby sounds like an annoying parrot in the bathroom  - it just echos in your head.  I was treating myself to reading a book while eating breakfast the other day when Abby came up to me and quietly told me she had "poopted on da floor" .  I got her to point out the trail she had made and regretted not noticing that she had taken off her diaper.  On the plus side , she is showing early signs of being ready to toilet train :) .  While I was changing her one day she told me she wanted to "pee on da toiwet"- I let her go ...only to have her come back screaming and wet.  She had peed all over the floor in the bathroom and then slipped in it.  I also noticed that she peed all over my clean clothes I had put out for myself :( (I really wasn't expecting her to actually have to pee) .  Sarah and Abby enjoy sitting on the toilet and the princess potty we got them, but they rarely manage to squeeze anything out, if they do they get a candy.  Nathan can mostly toilet himself.  I've learned that a hands-off policy is best for him, mostly because he won't have it any other way.  Nathan gets 30 minutes of computer time as a reward for peeing or pooping on the toilet.  He still goes through several pull-ups a day but has gotten better.

Hannah is teething , slowly it seems.  Soon we will see top and bottom teeth.  It seems like babies disappear when teeth come and toddlers take their place.  I don't regret Hannah growing up, I am in fact looking forward to seeing what kind of person she will be, but I do feel some angst at seeing my last baby on her way to toddler- hood.  Hannah is a very big baby.  Sometimes I have clothing items that fit her and Abby at the same time and I think Hannah could be in a size 6 diaper while the rest are fine in a 5.  When giving Hannah a bath I usually get one as well because she likes to splash ... a lot and she can splash pretty good with those fat little arms.  The other day I was getting soaked while bathing her and commented on it - Nathan who happened to be in the tub as well at the time (he usually prefers to take a bath alone now) jumped out and tenderly started drying me off with a towel.  Nathan has such a tender heart - I hope he learns to guard it well as he grows up.

Yesterday I took the kids to the library program they have in the morning - I had forgotten how slippery it was until I saw my children slip and fall with every other step ... it was like an AFV montage "how many kids will slip and fall in one minute?".  It was also very difficult to pull the wagon (laden with two girls, library books/movies and a diaper bag) over chunks of ice and snow- my back was not happy with me and still isn't.   We had to do a crash course on walking on ice - walk carefully , slowly , SLOWER!, slide your feet!... I think it took us an extra 15 minutes to get there.  I've been trying to do exercises to strengthen my lower back , but they seem to be one of the "there is no good time for this" things lately.  Rarely do even 3 out of the 4 nap at the same time and even at night I often have one of them to take care of.  I was hoping to get by with walking the dog and the occasional acquafit class but that does not seem to be cutting it.

Well - this post has been a little random , but it was the best I could do today.  I have to stop and get the monkeys some lunch before they destroy the couch and living room.

Beginning Christmas

I've had different views of Christmas in the past and I will have different perceptions of it in the future.  I remember going to Togo for a month and coming home just as the advertising had started.  All I saw was excess and waste and I hated it.  Fresh in my memory were children sleeping on a pile of rags in a mud hut, important things - like medicine and food not getting to people who had serious need. I remembered all that and felt disdain for the people who were buying i-pods for stocking stuffers.  That year I convinced my family to tone down the gift giving and enjoyed songs like Do They Know it's Christmas? and My December. Looking back I think I was actually depressed.  The depression at Christmas trickled into the next year.  And I think it was the year after that I met my Christmas loving husband.

I grudgingly started to open up and try to enjoy Christmas again for Mark's sake.  I remember feeling frustrated with the presents and the advertising and the shopping and the list goes on.... .  There were some parts that I enjoyed. I've always liked Christmas lights - I've often said that they have been the only thing about Christmas that I have consistently enjoyed (even as a little girl).  I really enjoyed giving gifts and getting used to Mark's Christmas music (he likes the classics - the kind you get tired of, because they play them everywhere ).  When kids started becoming a part of our lives Christmas became more about them.  I still felt stressed out in December and got frustrated with plans that changed.  I remember getting upset and anxious while looking for gifts, really not enjoying the "hustle and bustle".  I felt a lot of pressure to get the "perfect gift" for everyone.  Our family drew names but with our growing family we still had a lot of shopping to do.

Mark helped me combat this by starting our own traditions as a family.  We hunt down a real tree in the first week of December , cut it down and dress it up (while playing Christmas music and drinking egg nog- Sarah calls it "egg knock") .  We have family over for dinners and this year I got the girls outside to watch the Santa Claus parade just outside our house.  Gradually I learned to focus more on making memories and having fun with family then trying to find the perfect gift or stressing over who we can afford to buy for.  I'm looking forward to watching the Rankin and Bass videos with the kids and seeing them experience the craziness that our church manages to pull off every year (some sort of Christmas play ...you walk in the doors and they are handing out costumes with a paper with lines on it :)  ).  I'm looking forward to seeing them (hearing rather- I'll likely still be in bed) experience the sight of presents under the tree - knowing that we stayed in budget this year.  Mark and I did most of our shopping in November (a lot of it online) and we tried to tone down the gift giving with extended family even more.  Next year we would like to do some charity instead of presents with extended family.  I'm looking forward to teaching my kids about giving back and ideas of how Jesus wants us to celebrate His birthday.  This year I've finally been able to sweep aside all the clutter/anxiety/stress/depression that surrounds Christmas and have been able to enjoy (really enjoy - not just take pictures or videos) events with my husband and kids :) .  Thank you Jesus , for your freedom - and for teaching me to take advantage of it :)

Sarah and Abby enjoying the "light parade" (Santa Clause Parade) as they called it.  Sarah appears to enjoy Christmas lights as much as I do 

Hop on Pop 

Our Christmas tree - most of the ornament are half way up the tree now- the kids have been stealing them and throwing them around the living room. 

Playing puppets

My husband and I had a conversation about how life seems "urgent" .  There always seems to be an urgent something to do - a diaper needs to be changed, a crying baby needs to be picked up, we need to go shopping, we need to separate two fighting children...and the list goes on.  We talked about how we sometimes fall into being "urgent" all the time, always doing something /going somewhere and miss the little things  - like playing  puppets with Sarah , reading books to Abby , counting with Nathan , and letting little Hannah look you full in the face making lots of eye contact.  Sarah is always asking us to play puppets .  She has a wonderful imagination and loves to use it and watch us use ours.  Recently I've made myself take at least 20 minutes to play puppets with Sarah - I don't always want to.  I'd rather play on the computer or clean up what I can before the next "urgent" thing comes up, but play for her is important and it should be important to me as well.  A lot of important things happen during the day ... things I will want to remember when the kids are older.

Abby sings now.  We don't always know what she is saying but she sounds good :).  She sings "row row row your boat...stream....merry merry merry dream!"  Sarah has been singing for awhile now - and has several songs memorized.  I love hearing my little girls sing :). While giving them a bath tonight I heard the usual "knock- knock" jokes.  They are funny because the kids don't understand how or why they are funny.
Sarah: "knock knock"
Me: "Who's there?"
Sarah: "Sarah"
Me: "Sarah who?"
Sarah: "SARAH!"

Nathan: "Knock knock"
Me: "who's there?"
Nathan: "boat"
Me: "boat who?"
Nathan: "Nathan's boat!"

They go on getting sillier ending in giggles because I'm laughing at them and they don't understand why :).

While walking (or rather force marching) the kids to the library this afternoon I had a hard time getting Sarah's attention.  She seems to move at negative speed when you want to get somewhere sometime.  I was standing at a corner calling her for what seemed like a full minute when she finally came ...and then threw a snow ball at me.  We crossed the road and then started a toddler snow ball fight (me purposely missing  - even though I wanted to hit them.  Nathan and Sarah proudly throwing snow fragments/balls I made for them on the sidewalk).  Sarah discovered that snow covered gloves become wet gloves.  The princess ended up in the wagon wearing my gloves.  Abby had socks on her hands (I could not find any gloves that fit her-why do those darn things get lost so easily?) so she mostly complained ... very loudly. Hannah was having fun relaxing in the wagon snuggled in a large baby bag I had worn when I was a baby.  Each trip to the library is an adventure :)

Little things happen, sandwiched in with the urgent things.  I hope I will remember to play puppets , sing silly songs, laugh at knock knock jokes that don't make any sense , and take a few extra minutes on the walk to the library to discover things or just stand there humoring Sarah :)

Hannah really liking her fingers lately - teething? NO - please no- not yet 

Football watching with dad :)

Abby is very passionate and has a variety of expressions ... I wish I could get them on camera 

This is How Mom's eat their breakfast

As I sit here listening to Sarah cry in the play room and Nathan jump to my favourite Wiggles DVD (Wiggles go Bananas)  I remembered that I need to write this stuff down because I know I will forget later in life. This morning I was eating my cereal with Sarah sitting on most of my chair and Hannah on my lap.  Sarah was demanding bites of my cereal every few minutes and Hannah was grabbing at the table cloth.  Mark paused as he turned to go upstairs and smiled as he looked at me.  I gave him a knowing look and said "This is how mom's eat their breakfast".

Last night at supper time I looked around the table and noted Abby scowling at her rice then laughing hysterically as she picked up little hand fulls and threw them on her table top.  She had food all over her face (not from supper) and her hair was stuck to her wet nose.  Nathan was carefully dipping his chicken in his plum sauce , mindful of the stickiness , but using his fingers instead of his fork.  I was glad he was eating.  It was quite the fight to get him to sit at the table.  Sarah also had a food covered face (not from supper) and was making some sort of sandwich with her "pickles" (cucumbers) which she had refused to eat.  Hannah was squirming/ squalling on my lap as I attempted to eat some supper.  Mark was eating his supper and trying not to fall asleep.  Usually when observing that typical scene I think how nice 8:00 will feel like when they are all in bed and I can relax without anyone sitting or trying to sit on me.  This time I looked at them and I remembered how different our family will be in even 4-6 months.  I wished I could take a snap shot on life and take it out later and experience it again ... just for a few minutes.

As I paused while writing this to read "Are you my Mother" to Abby I remembered her bringing books to me while I was trying to go to the bathroom this morning.  I like it that they all love books , but sometimes I wish the door had a lock on it again.  The living room looks as though a tornado had run through it leaving a trail to the play room.  I will try to clean it up , even getting Sarah and Nathan to help at "clean up time" (always more work then cleaning it up myself) but I know the living room will be just as messy after I clean it when I sit down tonight after the kids are in bed.  

It seems, especially recently, that I begin each morning wishing I had a few more hours of sleep and how much better life would seem if I felt rested.  While that is likely true , I have to remember that this is life.  This life God has blessed me with, brimming and overflowing with richness. My cup  is full.  Often it feels too full , but having it any other way would feel horribly wrong.

Abby reading Hannah a book

Our girls :)

Nathan and Abby trying to console Hannah

Nathan posing for a picture ....which is rare.  He is usually to busy to sit still for a picture.

Her way

My last post was written over the course of a month.  This post I was unable to even think of for the past ... few months?  I don't even know how long it has been.  Things have been different but not that much easier.  I told Mark I think  Hannah is trying to make me glad she is the last one.  She is a very demanding baby - wanting to be held all the time...even while sleeping (mostly by me).  I remember thinking "She is well on her way" as I held her for the first time.  I experienced a feeling of satisfaction  knowing that she was able to drink and look around.  She is still "on her way" , I just can't say I'm enjoying it that much at this point in time.  I know that in even a few months things will be different, but most of the time that does not help in dealing with present difficulties.

Nathan , Sarah and Abby have been dealing with all this fairly well.  A lot of the time I find myself frustrated with them only to realize that they are just being children and doing child -like things.  I often feel guilty for not doing more with them.  Taking them anywhere is very demanding /mentally and physically.  Adding anything extra in the day makes it bursting , but extra things are needed for all of us :).

Well this post is going to be a short one as Hannah is awake and fussing now.  I need to put a diaper on Nathan and probably change the girls' diapers.

Daddy trying to watch football